Sometimes getting inside of your own head is the worst thing you do, but sometimes it’s the only solace you can find. Sometimes you beat yourself up over the “ifs”, but sometimes it’s where you can escape all of the noise. It could go either way; it just depends on what you need to do.
When I try to process a lot of information at once, the noise inside of my head (like a buzz, but louder) becomes so overbearing and can really spur on my anxiety. Such is the case today. I did not sleep well last night because I was processing a lot of information (along with emotions). The inner turmoil remained into the morning. The enemy came in and almost convinced me to skip church today. It almost worked. If I had not been on the service schedule for today, I would have skipped church for the first time in months. Why? Because I was stuck in my own head. Needless to say, I made it to church and fulfilled the commitments I had made. I was also influenced by an amazing message that I needed to hear. I was also able to spend time with people that have become my family.
Later in the evening, I retreated into my own head again, but this time there was peace. I was able to spend time in the presence of the Spirit and gain clarity into the issues I am facing. I was able to “get my head on straight” and enjoy the peace to process the information I had floating around.
I believe I am finally at peace with who I am, as well as my current situation and status. While my views may differ from those of my Creator, I am certain that I need to trust what He has in store for me. If that means creating my own peace inside of my head to remember that His plans for me are better than I could ever imagine, then that is what I have to do. I will create my own peace so that I am able to listen clearly. I will be still. I will listen and hold my tongue.
Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.