So Much More

You know how sometimes the conversations we have with others spur conversations with ourselves? Like when you have a moment of enlightenment as you’re explaining something? That happened to me today as I spoke to my amazing daughter. As I spoke to her, many realizations came to light and landed on my heart.

First of all, I told her that I love her unconditionally (duh), that I am proud of her, and that she can tell me anything.

Next, I reminded her of her past. Surgery at 2 weeks of age. Followed by specialists until age 5. I asked why God would bring her through those events to just walk away, even though she knew God would NEVER walk away from her.

Finally, I explained to her that I had been asking God for the ability to see others through His eyes. To view others as He views us. As I started trying to focus on the person God sees, He gave me a bonus revelation, one so much more than I ever imagined possible. By asking for the ability to see others through God’s eyes, I have also been given the gift to view myself, as well, in that same way and as God sees me.

He views us all as His beautiful children. He doesn’t focus on our faults, despite the fact that we all have flaws. He focuses on our strengths. He places people in our paths to guide us in His ways.

It still amazes me that the all-knowing, all-powerful, unstoppable God would want to know me, but that is because I am viewing His opinions through wordly measures and His love is beyond all wordly comprehension. When I try to view from God’s point of view, I realize that I have been set apart. I have a reason and a purpose. We all do. We are all His precious children.

Welcome to Reality

Well, hello again. It’s been a while. I’ve been trying to practice being still. Most of the time, I fail at it, but sometimes I can win. 🙂

I’ve had so much on my mind lately. Trying to rein in medical issues (and I’ve come a long way), dealing with stressors in a more healthy way (ummmm…. pass), and just thinking. Thinking about the future, about the now, about the why, and about the how (hehe – that rhymed). Anyway, life’s little challenges turn into amusements sometimes, and the humor is how I heal. When I don’t laugh, I cry. People may judge me for that, but it’s not that I don’t care. In fact, I care too much in many cases, which leads to hurt.

Anywhoooo…. Being still. I have prayed for guidance, patience, and discernment many times over the past several weeks. I’ve found myself pulling back into my shell like a turtle would do, but it is not the same as it was in the past. I’m pulling back and just not saying a lot. I’m deep in thought, but it’s a peaceful place rather than a place of darkness and loneliness. I find myself oddly calm when I probably should be angry. This does not mean that I don’t get angry. Uh. I’m Irish and German, so it’s probably really just science that I’m so “passionate”, right? 😉

When I’m deep in thought, I’ve felt nudges, I’ve seen words form in my mind (verses to read), and I’ve had others pop into my mind. All of these actions remind me that the Holy Spirit is real and is inside of us. Always. We just have to listen, although “listening” may mean different things to different people. It could be through words to one person, images to another, or pressure on an arm for another person.

The important thing is to remember that God is there and open our minds to the possibilities around us so that we may catch a glimpse of His face in the everyday things. Nothing is ordinary with God. He turns everything into beauty and uses everything for His glory. Pray for His presence. Worship with your whole heart. Open your mind to His voice. He is real and will never leave you.

The Struggle is Real

We all have those days. Ya know, the days when you struggle to get out of bed, can’t get ready for the day, fall as you walk out the door, try to reason with a toddler, discover the dog got sick overnight (surprise!), or get in the car and realize you forgot to fuel up the night before. Sigh. The “why-do-I-even-bother” days. The “I’ll-refresh-my-eyeliner-when-I’m-done-crying-during-my-drive-to-work” days. Sometimes, these days pile up faster than dirty clothes in the laundry. It can be a real struggle to try and recognize the positive stuff.

The past week has been rough. I’ve had my share of those days, been treated poorly, and been taken for granted. I’ve had to battle feelings of loneliness (does that crap ever go away?!), fear, frustration, and hurt. It happens. My struggle has been to remain focused on the positive side when I want to hang my head in defeat and crawl back into bed and put the covers over my head. I’ve failed at times, but I’ve yet to crawl back into bed and refuse to rise up and face the day. That, my friends, means that I have not lost. I am not defeated as long as I can get up and show up.

I don’t have to smile, accept tough situations, or refuse to cry to win. I win by finding the strength to rise up and participate in life. Yes, life hurts. It leaves scars. It will try to beat you down. But you are more than a conqueror. You will defeat the anger, frustration, sadness, and guilt if you just LIVE this life with passion.

My strength to get up and keep going does not come from within myself. I pray. I ask for help. I try to stay on the right path. I read His Word. I know that I am not strong by myself in those horrible moments when bad news comes. I may not be able to smile, but I am able to ask God for help through my tears. I don’t even have to form a sentence because He knows exactly what I need.

On those bad days, we have to remember He is with us. Always. He knows our hearts and our weaknesses. He knows everything about us, yet loves us anyway.

Fix your eyes on Him, seek His guidance, and keep on moving forward. With God on your side, you cannot be defeated.

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Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (NIV)

Romans 5:3-5 “3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (NIV)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (NIV)