This morning was a rough one. Fresh off a virtually sleepless night, my mind was working overtime. I was angry and I wanted to make sure that I came up with an appropriate retaliatory plan before I let go of my anger and tossed the plan. Maybe not “toss it”, per se, but put it on a shelf until my next round of anger at this situation. Any time an innocent child is impacted by selfish actions, while not surprising to me, it totally infuriates me. I fell asleep (briefly) with that anger.
Full disclosure: lack of sleep does so many things to me. If I’m upset, it’ll make me overthink and rethink and plot. If I’m happy, it’ll make me slap happy. If I miss enough sleep, my body starts freaking out in the form of migraines and roller coaster blood sugar readings. #goodtimes
So I was not only mentally exhausted, I was angry and exhausted….. Cue the turmoil. I launched into my daily activities and was still mumbling under my breath. Then I start overthinking everything because, well, why not?! I asked for my friends to send me their favorite verses, memes, and quotes to help me recenter my thoughts. Why was I still angry? I honestly had no clue.
In the midst of the memes and quotes, a simple – yet powerful – statement was posted: “Be still and know that I am God.” It hit me. Gut punched me, actually. I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten to start my day with the Lord because I was still so upset. I allowed my emotions to derail my walk because I wanted to fix a situation that I cannot possibly fix. It’s truly out of my hands.
In that moment, I prayed for forgiveness for attempting to handle the issue myself and offered a prayer of gratitude for all of my blessings. Isn’t it amazing how one little misstep – I mean, it seems minor enough, right? – can impact your day so deeply?
Once I prayed and recentered myself on what was important, the anger dissipated and the rest of the day improved. Note to self: don’t skip prayer time. Not only does He walk beside you, He takes away the hurts and pains that YOU cannot fix. His restoration was immediate and complete this afternoon. #grateful