You know those days where you question everything? When everything seems to be falling apart? When you’re busting your hiney to make sure everything is done right so you have no surprises, but everything is a surprise? When you’re exhausted before you open your eyes and the only physical response you can muster is tears? Yeah. Me, too. I think those days are called “Mondays”.
Some weeks, you may have 8 Mondays in a row. Some weeks, even Monday is a breeze. Some days you’re the windshield, but some days you’re the unfortunate bug. This was my day. My last several weeks, actually.
Uncle. I’m out. Done. Finito. Deuces. Peace out.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to come out on top. Its frustrating, irritating, and a bunch of other adjectives that are perhaps not appropriate for a Christian blog.
Yet here I am, at the end of this particular Monday. Still exhausted, overwhelmed, and cranky. So I write.
It’s therapeutic in many ways. It helps me free my thoughts from the prison of my mind and release them as the words appear on paper (or a screen). When the words are free, they cannot harm me. They lose the power that they would have had as thoughts in my head, ammunition I would have used to berate and belittle myself.
Does everyone like me? No. Is everyone pleased with me? Nope. Does everyone have an opinion about how I could do things better? Yep. Yet, before I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning, I still know I have done my best. Someone else’s best? Perhaps not, but MY best.
We make decisions with the knowledge we have at that time and move forward. We do our best. Worrying about what everyone else would do or what everyone else thinks would paralyze us.
Even though I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring my way, I do know that I can face myself because I tried to act in kindness and fairness to those around me.
It’s easy to toss out an email throwing people under the proverbial bus or criticizing every action someone makes, but what good does that serve? It doesn’t serve any purpose, other than spouting off words that hurt and cannot be retrieved.
As a Christian, I have a choice to make in every situation: to show love as Christ has shown me, or to trample upon someone’s feelings and destroy their self image.
Am I perfect? Um. No. Not even close, bruh. Do I try to be better? Every single day.
The Christian life is not one of judgment, regardless of what others may think. It’s about loving people where they are for who they are in that moment. Do we have to agree? Absolutely not, but it is about speaking truth and love in a dark world, despite differences. We are to love as Christ loves each and every single one of us.
It’s also not allowing yourself to be a doormat. It’s about loving others and forgiving them – even when they are not sorry. Forgiving is solely for your own mental health and is not about excusing behavior. It’s about standing firm on the foundation of His word, the indisputable truth.
I have so much work to do in so many areas, but I try to act out of kindness. Yes, I have issues and falter daily. I get road rage walking behind people who are walking slow, or driving at a snail’s pace because it is RAINING. My first instinct is to retaliate with a snarky response sometimes (or a lot of times), but I am working on that issue. I know my limits and refuse to respond out of anger whenever I can. I try to pause and give my hotheaded German-Irish self a hot minute before I shoot off my mouth or hit “reply” or respond to a text.
Again, I am soooo definitely not perfect, but I am better than I used to be. If I can make improvements each day, maybe a fiery retort won’t be my first thought. Oh, I cannot wait for that day!
In the meantime, however, I have to give myself grace, apologize when appropriate, and repent for my hasty replies. I need to show grace to others, and show them love when I don’t think they deserve it (because what do I know?).
I have to keep fighting myself and do the right thing, rather than what makes me feel better in the moment, but could damage another person.
“The word of the Lord came to Zechariah: The Lord of Hosts says this: Make fair decisions. Show faithful love and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor, and do not plot evil in your hearts against one another.”
Zechariah 7:8-10 HCSB
“I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.”
John 13:34 HCSB